Understanding Power Struggles
As a parent power struggles can be shocking and scary for you. You may feel misunderstood and disappointed about the way your child reacts to situations with you.
Rest assured you are not alone. Preteen struggles are quite normal. It is also reasonable for parents to be concerned about the struggles. The key is developing strategies to prevent power struggles before they become major issues. It is important to understand the 4 goals of a child’s misbehavior and to apply the application in a given situation. Power struggles are identified as:
Attention – by seeking undue attention.
Power – Child demonstrates he/she is in control and does not need direction.
Revenge – Child wants to hurt the parent in order to get even for some perceived injustice.
Avoid Failure – Child wants parents to leave him/her alone by appearing helpless to complete a given task.
Children do not always understand why they react the way they do. The beginning of physical changes plays a big part in their behavior and therefore they need parental support and understanding.
In some situations an option is to be selective in entering a power struggle. By deciding what is really important and its implication in the family setting, you will be able to eliminate some senseless arguments
If you exercise understanding, empathy and some behavioral strategies you and your child will learn to have a better understanding of an issue and seek resolution without a win/lose atmosphere.
Sincerely,
Bernie FitzGerald, Principal
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